What Breaks your Heart?

Images of starving children in 

Not- so-far off Africa or India ? 

Corporate slaves toiling in a 

9-5 humdrum ? 

Terrorist attacks, suicide bombs 

Car bombs 

Random shooting by not-so-random guns? 

Women being attacked for no other reason than they're women? 

Is it a lack of control or a lack of education? 

But what education? Purely academic suppressing emotion and ethics? 

Priding physical prowess with no thought of the Divine within? 

Golden cages masquerading as Comfort zones 

Couches and sofas 

Surfing channels and the aimless searching 

Mental, emotional and spiritual poverty 

Or just apathy 

Empty eyes 

Devoid of laughter 

Dying a living death of boredom 

Suffering in man-made pain 

Or diseases of unbroken habits 

Battles with monsters in the mind 

The sporadic emergence of Jekyll and Hyde 

The mad dash to be First at the 

Top of the Ladder 

Only to find the Soul left behind 

Robots marching to an external beat

Instead of pulsating to 

The steady beat of the Heart 

That never stops 

So what breaks your heart? 

And what would mend it again? 

Expectations

Rampant thoughts 

My mind whispered 

"Shouldn't she?"

"Shouldn't he?"

"Why did she?" 

"Why didn't she?" 

"But I thought..."

"I hurt." 

"She knew but she did it anyway" 

"He said but he didn't" 

So many whys 

No reason no rhyme

Anger, rage, sadness, jealousy 

Marched across my furrowed brow 

Demons battling before my eyes 

Always asking why 

Tossing and turning 

Twisted bedsheets 

Strangled pillows 

Tears streaking silver down the planes of my cheeks 

Gentle floods 

The Stars beckoned 

While the dawn whispered 

After a torrid night of ill-rest 

Light as a feather 

Dust mites streamed across 

My mussed hair 

My eyes refused to open 

Even as my mind revved with hope 

But why hope

With no answers 

Or were the answers within me 

All along 

Was I the cause and the solution 

Right from the start 

Perhaps 

That was the hope 

I was my hope 

Three things you shouldn't let go of from 2015 that you can use to make your 2016 your best yet.

Letting go isn't easy. 

And I don't know about you but sometimes the more I keep hearing about it, the more I feel a sort of guilt when I don't or can't let go- for whatever reason. 

I was sitting in church last Sunday and it was the last Sunday of the year, so the pastor had decided to focus on the topic of letting go. I thought it was rather appropriate too since we all want to move into the new year without holding on to past baggage. All those things that have weighed us down the whole year. 

Relationships that didn't quite rise to our expectations and that may have soured our spirits. 

People that you feel might have failed you. 

A business idea that didn't quite pan out the way you saw it in your mind. 

An illness that doesn't seem to be going away no matter how much you try to be positive. Regardless of the number of prayers you make. 

Let's call all these experiences Life. 

So I was mulling over the message while the pastor was speaking, and one of the thoughts that flew into my mind was that letting go is just downright scary. 

And the second thought or rather a question that popped up was what should I let go of? 

We can't just let go of every single experience that we went through; it would be like cutting off a part of who we are. A slice of our psyche. You might not agree with this but we needed every single experience we went through this year to bring us to this moment. 

So I believe that there are some things that we not only shouldn't let go of, but that we should hold on tightly to. At least three that I can think of. 

Number one: your faith. 

It's not just about what religious beliefs you subscribe to. It goes deeper into a fundamental belief in yourself. 

What do you believe about yourself, that you have put into practice the last year and seen it blossom? What was the strength of that belief in yourself? What went wrong and could the things that went wrong be traced back to a faulty belief in yourself, or can you confidently sit back and congratulate yourself that you did your absolute best no matter the result? 

Only you can answer these questions best, and the good news is your faith and belief in yourself can be increased. By doing more or by trying out new things you discover new capabilities that you might have never believed to have existed in you. Trust yourself. 

Number two: Don't let go of the people who've stood with you. 

We're not islands. We need people around us. The good kind of people; the ones that support us through the dips, the ones that hang on. Even if you don't speak with them on a regular basis you know in your heart and mind that you can trust them to be truthful, and yet loving. Keep them close. 

Number three: Your achievements and your disappointments. 

It's easy to remember what you did good- all those proud moments when you set your own personal best. And you should remember these always and let them seven as a humble reminder that as human as you are, you can make miracles happen by getting into action and by focussing on your task. 

Disappointments are what we'd rather forget. They don't leave a sweet taste in our tongues, unlike our accomplishments. But we need them to teach us valuable lessons on who we are. Go through your list of disappointments and -keeping the pain on the side- do a little reflection. 

Get glimpses into yourself. Figure out what went wrong and why. And then make it a point not to repeat them. Carry the lessons over, not the pain. 

We don't have to start on a completely blank slate every year, especially not when we come to realize that there are some things that we don't need to let go of. Things that can actually give us a boost this 2016. Make this a year of your personal bests. 

The other side of Love

Consuming and crazy 

Hot and cold 

Powerful and passionate 

Bitter and sweet 

Love in its many forms 

And we can question not 

How it ebbs and flows 

The whys and the how's 

Like coffee and chocolate 

Dark and melting 

Browns and blacks 

And milky white too 

With a sparkle or red 

Cherished and hugged 

To have and to hold 

Hands and mouths entangled 

Bodies aflame 

The other side of love 

Which one? 

Its not for our minds to comprehend 

Just our hearts 

Love comes 

Sometimes in a rush 

All at once 

And sometimes it crawls 

Taking its own sweet time 

Knowing ultimately 

That it will arrive 

On Time and 

In perfect time  

3 Reasons Why Giving up is Not Your best option.

I love options. 

Ask any of my friends and you'll very likely see their heads nod in agreement. Throw in a little eye-rolling too. 

But doesn't everyone love options? 

When you walk into any supermarket you're bombarded with at least ten different flavors of ice-creams, another seven for milk; non-fat, full cream, 1%, 2%, skimmed, chocolate, strawberry, soy...you get the picture. 

The secret to grocery shopping is of course to use a list. A list that clearly states the exact item and quantity, basically leaving no room for guessing. 

Because therein lies the danger. 

Guesswork can cause your heart rate (or the husbands) to escalate when you reach the cash register. Especially if you're shopping on an empty stomach. 

So options may not always be your best friend. 

Take it from someone who loves them. I even sometimes consider myself an options dealer. From someone who finds packing for a holiday a highly challenging chore. I need to have wardrobe and footwear options- packing light is still a little like finding that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I'm sure I'll get there though, suitcase and all. 

So reason number one is: just don't (give up). Remove that option from your mind. 

Reason number two, consider your remaining options after removing the 'don't give up' one. 

What are your reasons for living? Family, contribution...there doesn't have to be a lot. 

When you sift and sieve through the clutter and the distractions surrounding you, you might find one tiny reason hanging on, as fine and as resilient as a single strand that makes up the silky web of a spidery cobweb. And just as sticky too. 

Reason number three: new opportunities. What kind of new opportunities you might ask? 

First you might have to remove the 'jaded' filter, the 'cynical' one, the 'depressed' one, and instead put on the 'curious' one, or even just the 'grateful' one. Once you change these filters a whole new world could open up. 

Look at life around you like a kid would, apart from throwing tantrums every now and then kids are crazily curious. 

They ask hundreds of questions, and they want to see and touch everything around them. We can't totally mimic them, but you get the picture. You might find you want to start a new business, a new skill, a complete career change. 

With just a month left until the end of the year, start preparing. Turn off the thoughts that tell you you can't do stuff, and turn on the productive and the creative ones. 

If you run out of ideas, Google. You might find yourself running out of hours with all that can be done. 

There's an endless amount of resources available now for anyone, there's literally no excuse to not do anything. 

To not turn your life around. 

To not live in a better space. 

To not start a new business. 

To not spend more time with your family. 

To not travel to those places that you've always wanted to travel to. 

To just not give up. 

What are you looking for?

Do you just see the muddy road?
Or
the colour of a glass of chocolate milk?

Do you see the dark grey stormy clouds
or
the shining silver lining behind?

Do you see derelict buildings
or
The opportunity to build and repair?

Do you smell the stench of rotting vegetables
or
The joy of having a bowl of fresh organic salad

Do you see the creases and crows feet
or
The tiny spark of hope in the eye

Do you see unpainted, uncared for feet
or
The story of strength behind

Do you see anger spent
or
The years of abuse lying dormant

Do you see tired hands
or
A labour of love

It's not just the physical eyes that need to see
but
The eyes of the Heart

See beyond the outer
And learn to read between the lines
Look for whats not obvious
And start seeing that which begs to be seen

Do you belong?

Belonging. 

Acceptance 

Feeling wanted 

In possession of 

Needed 

intimacy with another 

Feeling secure 

Being 

Associations 

A relationship 

Loved 

A Myriad of ways to define belonging 

So why this endless search to find it? 

People search for belonging in what they do 

In what they wear 

In where they live 

In what others around them are doing and saying

People search for relationships that fulfill

Them, 

not realizing that belonging starts with knowing your Self. 

That belonging is independent of and 

Mutually exclusive with our environment

Who are you really? 

Just as the sage Greek philosophers emphasized to Know Thyself.

Therein lies our answer. 

The search therefore is not so much to belong, 

but to find ourselves. 

That Higher Self that the metaphysicians so often tell us. 

Maintaining a fine balance between Freud's Id, Ego and SuperEgo. 

We may not need to go beyond looking into the eyes of the person staring back at us in the mirror. 

At least to start with. 

That exciting journey within to find that 

Sense of 

Belonging 

Perhaps it's about love in its truest form

You cannot give that which you do not have. 

We want to feel loved and accepted. 

But do we really love and accept ourselves first?  

Do we have an intimate relationship with ourself? 

Are we whole beings walking around or do we need to pick up the shards lying around us

Shards that when glued just might create a magnificent piece of art 

Pieces that might be cracked 

But pieces that belong to each other 

Pieces with a purpose