Love's Paradox

They say Love is blind 

As if Love were a person 

When in truth it's an intangible emotion 

Shared between two people 

Lovers 

Fathers and daughters

Mothers and Sons 

Husbands and Wives 

God and Human, which may be the only True Perfect Love 

Ah, but if Love were blind then how is it that two people can happily stay together their whole lives? 

At some point along the journey their eyes open and they see the other for who the other truly is 

Still in love and still loving 

If Love were blind, why do some families stay knitted together? 

Through turbulence, turmoil, and so much more 

It must be more than just blood 

Could it be that invisible bond called 

Love 

That gently wraps around, softening every harsh word and dulling every pain? 

And what of friendship? 

Two distinct beings drawn together by not just an interest or a hobby 

Could it not be a simple, pure Love 

Often disguised as 'friendship'? 

They say Love comes softly 

Yes 

And sometimes Love happens In a blinding rush 

A maddening haste 

Who can tell which is the better? 

They say love is a bed of roses 

With a tender sweet fragrance 

But amidst the roses lie the thorns 

Might that be what makes Love worthwhile ? 

They say that Love brings pain 

The paradox of Life itself 

It is only when we are in pain that we fully comprehend Joy 

The pain points us to Joy 

And such Joy 

Unspeakable 

If Love were a parody of Life itself

Could we not then equate Love to Life?

And further still

That Love is the very essence of Life

Without which we could do nothing, have nothing, even Be nothing? 

Perhaps then they are synonymous after all 

Love being Life and 

Life being Love 

Shining eyes

What makes your eyes shine? 

What sets them aflame ? 

What causes those twin jewels to sparkle? 

Lighting up your life

Showering radiance on the world around you. 

Summer days 

Easy, breezy they say 

Languishing carelessly on the grass 

Picnic baskets strewn 

Sticky sweet fingers 

Hair blown asunder 

Clothes in disarray 

Doesn't really matter 

Your eyes shine 

Autumn glows 

Blazing glorious colors

Reds, Yellows, golds 

Tramping through forests 

Hands clasped together 

Nose twitching in anticipation

Of spicy smells 

Awaiting ecstasy of more golden moments 

A shine in your eyes 

Rain 

refreshing, cooling 

Chilling, freezing, drenching

Outlines of bodies huddling together under shelters 

Clothes sticking to skin 

Sending sweet shivers rushing 

Scalding tea burning 

Steam rising from roadsides as traffic stops 

Mingling sounds of people chattering and horns beeping 

Running through puddles

Knee- deep, waist high

Children sailing paper-made boats 

Laughing at the water streaming down their faces 

Laughing at the adults squinting in the rain 

Clapping, Splashing 

Childhood innocence 

Leaving shining eyes. 

Random Love

To wake with your name on my lips and inscribed on my heart

To fall asleep night after night dreaming 

Of two bright stars 

Always together

Never apart 

Dreaming 

Of a world in which there are no good-byes 

A world that celebrates Love and where there is no pain 

No harsh words, 

Only lingering sighs of happiness and tears of joy 

To lie in the safe shelter of your arms 

And see our reflections in each others eyes 

mirrors reflecting each other's souls. 

Where each of our breaths merge into One 

And mist the glass of our hearts 

Fragile glass 

Fragile hearts 

Glass hearts that burn and melt in the heat of loves passion

Molten power that surges like a tide 

Yet cools at the coolness of night 

Filled with the fragrance of Love replete 

An ode to punctuation.

To tell you the truth I was a little torn on how I could title this blog. After all labels make a difference right? I remember writing composition and essays in school based on pre-chosen topics. Not all of them were to my liking; but then again neither was the whole experience of being in school. The only reason kids really 'like' (no this is not the Facebook 'like') is for almost all other reasons except for the very seemingly obvious reason- to study. But I digress- which was in fact one of my challenges in writing an essay- I invariably digressed. 

So back to labels and how I could have titled this blog: Periods, commas, and exclamations? Or "the mark of a punctuation?" Maybe it doesn't really matter as long as my message gets through. What message you might ask? 

I'm glad you asked. I want to answer this by sharing with you one of my recent tutoring experiences. I was tutoring a young girl and doing my best to drill into her the fundamentals of the English Language. A fairly daunting task actually because the English language contains almost as many exceptions to the rule as there are rules. One of the areas we covered was that of punctuation marks; when we use a comma, or why we need to use a semi-colon, and so on. 

As always being the overly contemplative person that I am, I tried to extend this metaphor of 'punctuation marks' to life, and to the situations we face everyday. If we had to describe a certain situation, or even a person that we found challenging- what kind of punctuation mark would we use? A comma? A full-stop? An exclamation mark? Or a hyphen? To me a comma represents a pause, like taking a breather. We encounter a situation that we find trying and sometimes we need to insert a comma somewhere in the midst of it. To pause and just breathe. A full-stop could mean that we're done with one phase of life and we're ready to move on into another. An exclamation mark shouts success! at accomplishing something that we may not have thought possible before. And perhaps a hyphen means we're undergoing transition. 

These are all just my opinions of course. To someone else the very same punctuation marks could very well mean something entirely different and opposite even. Honestly it doesn't matter. What does matter is how we choose to punctuate our life everyday; with question marks or exclamation marks? We decide how we write and punctuate the composition of our life. 

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther 

Why wearing a mask can good.

It's that time of the year again. No, I don't mean Christmas or Ramzaan or any other major festival. As much as I'd like to though. It's that time of the year when Indonesia starts to burn its trees and other vegetation. And with the help of the wind the smoke spreads to some of its neighboring countries- like Singapore. I can't speak for other countries since I currently reside here, although I've heard on the grapevine that our neighbor Malaysia is in similar straits ( no pun intended). 

Fear not, I'm not about to launch into a tirade against what Indonesia deems regular practice. Besides I doubt I can best others who've already made their feelings known. Understandably, it's not an ideal situation. And personally I'm not into the ninja look- the only reason why I would don a mask is purely for self protection and self- preservation. By mask I mean a simple surgical affair, not the kind one would wear to a masquerade party. Although that would be kind of fun. 

So what good can come out of a situation like this? Especially in a country where up to 80 or even 90% of the population spends its time out of the house. The way I see it this could be a time of nurturing relationships. Since most of us are forced to be indoors, why not spend that much needed quality time with the people who matter the most to us? With those whom we love. Who knows, it could be a time of healing. Also it's been known to happen that in times of crises a country bands together. There seems to be a visible common focus, or enemy which must be prevailed against at all costs. It's heartening to see and feel; what would be even more heartening would be if this were the norm. 

On an aside, have you ever seen someone smile with their eyes? I passed by a young lady whose lower face from the nose down was covered in a mask. Even though I couldn't see her smile I knew she did. Perhaps it's because her eyes slightly crinkled at the corners, and there was a little shine in her pupils. It brought to mind the phrase most of us have heard at one time or another,"..the eyes are the windows to the soul." A smile doesn't just happen when we push our lips apart, it's a full- face drama. The eyes, the ears, the nose, the forehead, the cheeks, and of course the mouth all have a role to play. But it is beautiful when just the eyes express everything that needs to be said. 

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther 

Wherever you are be there.

How many of us have wandered through our day not noticing what is going on around us? I am certainly guilty of it- although I am training myself to stop what I am doing and be present wherever I am. I see so many in the little red dot- also known as Singapore- where I currently live guilty of this too. Blame it on technology, work, the hectic pace of life, whatever. If we choose there are an endless number of excuses. 

Excuses for what? For not being present in the moment. Present. The dictionary may give us at least two definitions: a gift that we give, and being aware of where we are. I'm referring to the second definition- being aware of where we are at each moment. We could combine the two meanings in the words of Joan River who said,  "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present." 

A play on words perhaps, yet with so much truth. 

For me the word 'present' brings back images of my childhood in school. Every morning in school, my teacher used to take attendance for my class and whose ever name was called, either raised his/her hand or yelled out 'present!'. What do we require to be really present? 

We could start with our five senses. Be present requires us to smell, see, feel, hear, and touch. At least in most situations. We could also be present mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It does mean that we need to pay attention to what goes on around us. To not walk down a street with our mind still remembering the events of yesterday, or daydreaming about what might happen tomorrow. (Please do not try this if you live outside of Singapore- Singapore is one of the few countries that I know of in Asia where one can walk down a road looking at one's phone! In most other countries this is extremely dangerous). The quarrel we had yesterday. The wonderful lunch we just had. What we're going to have for dinner. Where we're going for our summer or winter vacations. Not that all these events are unimportant: but there is a time and place for everything. 

There's a time and place to reflect on our past, and a time and place to envision our future. Not at the expense of being present when we need to. When people who care about us need us to be present. It's for this very reason that people who are counselors,  therapists, or psychologists are paid well. Or should be. Because they are giving their most valuable resource- time and undivided attention- to those who need it. 

The next time you have a conversation with anyone, focus on listening and being present.  Who knows, you may learn something that might change your life. 

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther

The Power Of a Name

What is the one thing that is given to each of us, that we did not choose for ourselves, and yet it is the most precious to us?  Try this: walk into any crowded restaurant, bar, meeting room and call out a name. If there is someone with the name that you called- they will look up. If you want to get a person'a undivided attention, use their name when you talk to them. Making the effort to remember someone's name will take you far in making new friendships. 

Our name. How is it that such a simple thing as a name can have so much power ? Is it because as humans we crave for identity? Something that makes us unique? Something that belongs to us and no one else. Of course depending on culture and ethnic identity, because in some cultures people do share the same name. Even then I think having your own name gives us our own sense of belonging. It's personal. 

It's another paradox of life though- how something that defines us has been chosen for us. For most of us our names have been chosen for us by our parents. Why our parents choose particular names for us is not within our control. It could be for religious reasons, it could be cultural, or it could be just out of convenience. I've heard of some people who were named after famous movie or TV personalities.  And in some rural cultures babies are not names until the parents are sure that the child will live to be at least one year of age. 

I've always had this habit of asking people what their names mean. Especially if I encounter an unusual one. Maybe it's because my parents have always told me why they named me what they did. Esther was a young girl who was chosen out of thousands of others to become a queen. She was chosen not just for her beauty but for her spirit. At the end of the story (found in the Bible) she saves her people by courageously going to the King and asking for their freedom. At that time if someone went to the King unannounced his life could be forfeit- and this meant anyone. Even the Queen herself. And the name 'Esther' means star in the Hebrew language. 

I think names carry hope. Parents hope that when they give their child a certain name, that child will grow up to emulate the qualities of that name. If you're not sure about what your name means- take a little time and ask your parents. Or do some research. It may even change your life. 

And if you're having trouble remembering someone's name- try this: 

www.soakupinfo.com/Esther