Why wearing a mask can good.

It's that time of the year again. No, I don't mean Christmas or Ramzaan or any other major festival. As much as I'd like to though. It's that time of the year when Indonesia starts to burn its trees and other vegetation. And with the help of the wind the smoke spreads to some of its neighboring countries- like Singapore. I can't speak for other countries since I currently reside here, although I've heard on the grapevine that our neighbor Malaysia is in similar straits ( no pun intended). 

Fear not, I'm not about to launch into a tirade against what Indonesia deems regular practice. Besides I doubt I can best others who've already made their feelings known. Understandably, it's not an ideal situation. And personally I'm not into the ninja look- the only reason why I would don a mask is purely for self protection and self- preservation. By mask I mean a simple surgical affair, not the kind one would wear to a masquerade party. Although that would be kind of fun. 

So what good can come out of a situation like this? Especially in a country where up to 80 or even 90% of the population spends its time out of the house. The way I see it this could be a time of nurturing relationships. Since most of us are forced to be indoors, why not spend that much needed quality time with the people who matter the most to us? With those whom we love. Who knows, it could be a time of healing. Also it's been known to happen that in times of crises a country bands together. There seems to be a visible common focus, or enemy which must be prevailed against at all costs. It's heartening to see and feel; what would be even more heartening would be if this were the norm. 

On an aside, have you ever seen someone smile with their eyes? I passed by a young lady whose lower face from the nose down was covered in a mask. Even though I couldn't see her smile I knew she did. Perhaps it's because her eyes slightly crinkled at the corners, and there was a little shine in her pupils. It brought to mind the phrase most of us have heard at one time or another,"..the eyes are the windows to the soul." A smile doesn't just happen when we push our lips apart, it's a full- face drama. The eyes, the ears, the nose, the forehead, the cheeks, and of course the mouth all have a role to play. But it is beautiful when just the eyes express everything that needs to be said. 

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther 

Wherever you are be there.

How many of us have wandered through our day not noticing what is going on around us? I am certainly guilty of it- although I am training myself to stop what I am doing and be present wherever I am. I see so many in the little red dot- also known as Singapore- where I currently live guilty of this too. Blame it on technology, work, the hectic pace of life, whatever. If we choose there are an endless number of excuses. 

Excuses for what? For not being present in the moment. Present. The dictionary may give us at least two definitions: a gift that we give, and being aware of where we are. I'm referring to the second definition- being aware of where we are at each moment. We could combine the two meanings in the words of Joan River who said,  "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present." 

A play on words perhaps, yet with so much truth. 

For me the word 'present' brings back images of my childhood in school. Every morning in school, my teacher used to take attendance for my class and whose ever name was called, either raised his/her hand or yelled out 'present!'. What do we require to be really present? 

We could start with our five senses. Be present requires us to smell, see, feel, hear, and touch. At least in most situations. We could also be present mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It does mean that we need to pay attention to what goes on around us. To not walk down a street with our mind still remembering the events of yesterday, or daydreaming about what might happen tomorrow. (Please do not try this if you live outside of Singapore- Singapore is one of the few countries that I know of in Asia where one can walk down a road looking at one's phone! In most other countries this is extremely dangerous). The quarrel we had yesterday. The wonderful lunch we just had. What we're going to have for dinner. Where we're going for our summer or winter vacations. Not that all these events are unimportant: but there is a time and place for everything. 

There's a time and place to reflect on our past, and a time and place to envision our future. Not at the expense of being present when we need to. When people who care about us need us to be present. It's for this very reason that people who are counselors,  therapists, or psychologists are paid well. Or should be. Because they are giving their most valuable resource- time and undivided attention- to those who need it. 

The next time you have a conversation with anyone, focus on listening and being present.  Who knows, you may learn something that might change your life. 

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther

The Power Of a Name

What is the one thing that is given to each of us, that we did not choose for ourselves, and yet it is the most precious to us?  Try this: walk into any crowded restaurant, bar, meeting room and call out a name. If there is someone with the name that you called- they will look up. If you want to get a person'a undivided attention, use their name when you talk to them. Making the effort to remember someone's name will take you far in making new friendships. 

Our name. How is it that such a simple thing as a name can have so much power ? Is it because as humans we crave for identity? Something that makes us unique? Something that belongs to us and no one else. Of course depending on culture and ethnic identity, because in some cultures people do share the same name. Even then I think having your own name gives us our own sense of belonging. It's personal. 

It's another paradox of life though- how something that defines us has been chosen for us. For most of us our names have been chosen for us by our parents. Why our parents choose particular names for us is not within our control. It could be for religious reasons, it could be cultural, or it could be just out of convenience. I've heard of some people who were named after famous movie or TV personalities.  And in some rural cultures babies are not names until the parents are sure that the child will live to be at least one year of age. 

I've always had this habit of asking people what their names mean. Especially if I encounter an unusual one. Maybe it's because my parents have always told me why they named me what they did. Esther was a young girl who was chosen out of thousands of others to become a queen. She was chosen not just for her beauty but for her spirit. At the end of the story (found in the Bible) she saves her people by courageously going to the King and asking for their freedom. At that time if someone went to the King unannounced his life could be forfeit- and this meant anyone. Even the Queen herself. And the name 'Esther' means star in the Hebrew language. 

I think names carry hope. Parents hope that when they give their child a certain name, that child will grow up to emulate the qualities of that name. If you're not sure about what your name means- take a little time and ask your parents. Or do some research. It may even change your life. 

And if you're having trouble remembering someone's name- try this: 

www.soakupinfo.com/Esther 

Spirituality and Sensuality in Indian clothing

It's been said that an Indian woman is the epitomy of what womanhood; charm, beauty elegance and much more. Being an Indian woman myself I'd have to agree! Part of this charm I believe lies in her clothing; the other part is something I feel every woman innately possesses.

Both women and men the world over are familiar with Indian clothing. It's evolved over the centuries and has achieved a fashion standard of its own. It has been looked upon by many a fashion designer for inspiration even. However no matter how much it's been modernized it still retains its traditional roots.

When we look at the sari, it's now available in a myriad of colors, fabrics and styles. Many Indian women in cities now only wear the sari for weddings, parties or special functions. Yet it's a paradox because when we look at the way a sari is draped around a woman's body, it is not only sensual but also very practical. In fact I'm sure women who wear it in Indian villages certainly do not have sensuality in mind! For these ladies it's a way of life, just like modern Indian ladies now wear jeans, skirts and dresses.

It's light and airy enough to withstand tropical Indian summers in which temperatures can soar up to 45-50 degrees Celsius. It's modest enough to cover the whole body without showing skin. The part of the sari that falls over the shoulder is especially useful - for wiping water or sweat, for wiping a child's runny nose, for wrapping around oneself for warmth, or for covering the head when entering a religious place. And I'm sure most men would agree- it can be enticing when worn well.

India truly is a land of opposites - in which both tradition and non- traditions have their place. How a simple, long piece of cloth can be draped such that it embodies a sense of practicality and sensuality- at the same time.

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther
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The world is with you, not against you.

Have you ever seen this happen? You line up quietly outside the glass doors of a subway (no, not the franchise Subway) waiting for the train to arrive. I say quietly because this is little Singapore; where most people are perhaps so tired after a whole day at work that they have no energy to either smile or chat with the person next to them. Some of course, would rather be entertained by their electronic device. Live , and let live. Of course there are strange people like me who look around, and smile at unsuspecting fellow commuters.

Anyway the train arrives, people walk in and those able to find a seat, do. The beeping starts, warning commuters that the trains doors are about to close. Suddenly someone comes rushing through just as the doors start to close. The expression on the person who just made it through the doors is one of relief of course- that he or she did not get jammed between the doors! Perhaps theres a little pride mixed in at their athletic ability.

I was was watching one such person. Actually it was not the person who had just made it that I was watching; I was watching the rest of the people in the compartment. Maybe it was just me, but it seemed as if everyone was holding their breath. Most conversation had ceased around that particular entrance. Once again it could have just been me, but I was hoping that somehow the person would make it.

I'd like to think that I'm not too different from other human beings in wanting to see someone succeed. I think there is a desire in each one of us- unless we're either clinically depressed or in a comatose state- that we want to see someone make it. To reach their goal. To reach the pinnacle of their career. To be all that they can be. It doesn't matter who the person is- all that binds us to one another is a common bond of empathy and understanding. And most of the time, that is more than enough, to show that we care.

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther

The elusiveness of happiness

Is happiness something really worth pursuing? And how does one go about defining happiness anyway? I sincerely doubt that we would be able find a more abstract noun. What is the difference; or is there even a difference between general happiness of the world at large, and that of personal happiness? Or does one lead to the other?

So many questions and so few answers! It's been said that one of the marks of a successful person is his or her ability to ask the right questions, addressed to the right or relevant authority on that subject. So who could we ask that we would deem to be an authority on the subject of happiness?

The answer, i believe lies in our childhood. The time when we were babies and had not a care in the world, except that of seeking out our next meal, and nap time. Babies and toddlers have no conception of fear- they depend on the parent or a significant other to be with them constantly. To monitor them, and of course for survival basics. They truly exist in the now- something which many of us strive to do and few actually do. Perhaps that's what happiness is.

Learning how to live in the now- to make the most of our present moment. To really be present where we are- with all of our faculties. And not just to be present, but to enjoy and make the most of each moment. To learn from the tougher moments, and to move from moment to moment with lightness in our hearts. Maybe love and happiness are synonymous; or at least exist side by side.

Yes I think happiness should be pursued- it may bring greater self-awareness and love for both our self and for others. It may even bring us to Maslow's point of self-actualization. If you're not happy, take some time for self-reflection and find out why. When you seek with all your heart, you will find.

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther

Is love as risky as its made out to be?

One of my essay topics when I was in high school was the question," Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?" For those of us who may be wondering where this oft-quoted phrase originated from, it was stolen from Lord Temnyson's poem, 'In Memoriam:27, 1850. I

"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

I haven't had the good fortune of meeting Lord Temnyson, so I can't give you the exact reasons behind his writing such wonderfully sorrowful and yet pleasurable words words as the ones above. What we can tell is that perhaps he did once love someone so much that even when that person passed from his life- either through death or other means- he never regretted it. For those of us who may have had a similar experience, I'm sure we can agree with this heartfelt expression. I honestly can't say I've had a similar experience; I only pray that the person I love will also feel the same, and that I may never have to express Lord Tennyson's sentiment!

I think it's safe to say that we can extend this statement to more than just romantic love; it could also be the love of a parent for a child, or the love of a family member. It's strange how when we read of statements expressing love, our mind seems to assume romantic love. Or it could just be my foolish, sentimental mind!

I honestly can't remember what I wrote in my essay; the only thing I remember was that I for some inexplicable reason chose this question among others. I'm sure at that tender age my only real experience with love would have been that of parental love, or 'puppy' love, with the latest crush. It's amusing to think of it in hindsight. And why is hindsight always perfect? It's almost unfair! If only hindsight and foresight could trade places, the world would be a far nicer place!

Just out of curiosity, what do you, my reader feel? Is it better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther