It took my breath away

I was walking 

Down the side walk and when 

I looked up 

My breath was taken away 

It wasn't a human sight that 

Took my breath away 

Although there are plenty of 

Beautiful Mortals 

That can steal your breath and make 

You Pause 

No it wasn't a human sight 

Although it was my eyes that saw 

As a mere human 

Something that was so far away and 

Yet so near 

So beautiful and yet incomprehensible to

A mere mortal 

I saw a white light shining behind a dark cloud 

And I kept looking 

And kept walking 

And the dark cloud gradually slinked away 

And I saw what was hiding behind 

Tried to hide because really it could not hide 

The Moon 

Not just any moon 

A Full, White, Round Glorious Moon 

And as I kept walking, it seemed almost toward it 

I wanted to follow it but the irony was 

It seemed to follow me 

Egocentric thoughts, of course 

Mere human thoughts, of course 

It seemed to shine brighter and brighter as the dark clouds completely moved away 

And as I turned a corner It never left 

I walked past buildings that I thought could hide It 

Perhaps momentarily 

Never for forever 

It was strangely comforting 

A humanly spiritual experience 

Or a spiritually human experience 

That our lives revolve around a much greater Purpose 

That every single experience we have 

Is not really ours 

That sometimes we have to extricate ourselves from the mess we make of our lives 

And look at things from a much higher and a far removed perspective 

Could we compare the Moon to God? 

Perhaps 

There are similarities after all 

He's there beside us at our every waking moment as well as our sleeping ones 

When we turn a corner He's there 

Even though we may not see Him, when everything seems dark 

He never left 

And it gives us the courage to continue down our Path 

Turning corners, passing buildings 

Only to turn another corner and find Him 

Still there 

A wonderfully comforting though 

It takes my breath away 

Something beautiful

There's something Beautiful 

About life

It seems to be like a great ocean filled with sparkling drops 

Each drop representing a memory 

A Moment 

And we are filled with the knowing that 

There is something to be 

Learned in each precious Moment 

Moments that happen 

Moments that we make happen

That leave behind poignant memories 

Yes memories come and 

Memories go 

But at every moment we have in our hands 

Power to make that Moment special 

How special one might ask? 

Special is after all subjective 

It really doesn't matter 

We only understand the 'specialness' of a moment after it's gone 

True 'specialness' is meant to be lived in the moment 

Because once it's gone it's gone 

Never to return 

And no amount of intelligence or physical strength can bring it back 

But for every moment that may seem 

To have gone wrong 

We are granted by the Great Giver 

Another potent moment 

To either make right or make Better 

Joyful moments filled with to the brim 

With Happiness 

With Hope 

With Laughter 

With Togetherness 

Most of all though, filled 

With Love 

Because Love is 

Something Beautiful 

Who am I?

It's the age- old question; who am I? Who are we really? When we look in the mirror we just see one person staring back at us. Most of the time we like that person, I dare say even love that person. It's us after all. Give or take a few imperfections, we do love ourselves. No matter what we may have done or not done. Of course if you don't love yourself then now would be a good time to start. You have everything to gain- not the least of which is confidence and a greater sense of self- esteem. 

So back to the question of who am I? Side-stepping the obvious, I believe we are a culmination of each and every experience we have been through thus far. Right from our childhood all the way to this present moment. The moment at which you're reading this hopefully intelligible prose of mine! If I had to delve into my background I could come up with a myriad of experiences that have led me to where I am now. For better or for worse. And our experiences are only as relevant, as real as our memories. It stands to reason that we define who we are by what we remember- which then logically leads to the thought that we are our memories. We are what we choose to remember. And this can be a truly empowering thought. 

We can choose to pick out memories that highlight our best side. We can choose to think differently about each memory- no matter how unpleasant it might have been. After all reality exists in our minds. A memory is truly just that- an imagining of something that happened in the past. If we can remember something so clearly in the past - then we can also re-create each memory in the present so that it enhances our present moment- thereby creating a much happier future. Instead of letting previous unhappy memories weigh us down, why not instead use that memory as a deterrent from ever having that experience re-occur? 

It's a choice, something that we do every day. It's a lifestyle too- a new way of using every experience to propel us forward rather than dragging us back. After all we are what we think. And therefore do. 

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther 

A Love Collage

It's been said that' " love makes everyone a poet, or a poetess". 

Love makes the world go around, 

And in some extreme cases

Love stops the world from spinning 

Love makes sense 

And yet it creates more confusion than one thought possible 

It blinds and simultaneously opens us 

What Love? 

Why Love? 

How Love? 

Why question at all? 

When answers are not forth coming 

The only answer is Love 

An old hymn talks about Divine Love

That if the skies were 'of parchment made' 

And every man or woman a 'scribe by trade' 

And if the sea was ink 

And every blade of grass a quill

It still would not be enough to write about how deep, how wide, how tall 

The Love of God is 

I've heard that Pure Love is the highest form of energy 

The highest level at which one can exist 

In which there is 

No Fear 

No anger 

No greed 

No hurt 

No pain 

No attachment to anything or anyone 

How beautiful to know this Love 

How much more beautiful to live in this realm of purity 

Where we do not walk but float 

Where tears flow not out of sadness but joy 

Where eyes sparkle in wonder 

At seeing inexpressible, inexhaustible, incomprehensible Beauty 

So much Love all around us 

And all we need to do is open our eyes 

Our hearts 

Our very Souls 

To feel it first 

And then share 

Not just 'like' or 'comment' 

But truly 'Share' 

So that there would be no time or energy to feel anything other than 

Love 

Frozen moments

Moments frozen in time 

As if captured in a photographers frame 

Thought- provoking 

Soul - searching 

Moments 

in which Time itself seems to stop 

Locking eyes with a seeming stranger 

Only to discover a friendship of a lifetime 

A Love Eternal? 

Endless long bus rides 

silence between the splash of raindrops 

falling on the windows 

Flashes of thunder and roars of lightening 

Sounds of windshield wipers creaking 

clearing away the old and making room for new 

Sparkling moments 

People glancing at each other and then looking away 

smiling and yet 

lost in private reveries 

with melodious musical scores 

Cool breezes 

Lifting listless hair and Spirits 

whistling around and between 

buildings juxtaposed 

soothing burned hearts 

refreshing Moments 

Sounds of laughter 

high-pitched, rumbling, squeals 

Silence of warms hugs 

bodies melting into each other 

Radiating smiles 

Crooked, perfect, gap-toothed, coffee-stained

Lifting dimpled cheeks and showing glimmering teeth

pure Happiness 

gentle sounds of Footsteps echoing 

On blades of grass 

on empty expanses of tar-black road 

Going Home 

Love's Paradox

They say Love is blind 

As if Love were a person 

When in truth it's an intangible emotion 

Shared between two people 

Lovers 

Fathers and daughters

Mothers and Sons 

Husbands and Wives 

God and Human, which may be the only True Perfect Love 

Ah, but if Love were blind then how is it that two people can happily stay together their whole lives? 

At some point along the journey their eyes open and they see the other for who the other truly is 

Still in love and still loving 

If Love were blind, why do some families stay knitted together? 

Through turbulence, turmoil, and so much more 

It must be more than just blood 

Could it be that invisible bond called 

Love 

That gently wraps around, softening every harsh word and dulling every pain? 

And what of friendship? 

Two distinct beings drawn together by not just an interest or a hobby 

Could it not be a simple, pure Love 

Often disguised as 'friendship'? 

They say Love comes softly 

Yes 

And sometimes Love happens In a blinding rush 

A maddening haste 

Who can tell which is the better? 

They say love is a bed of roses 

With a tender sweet fragrance 

But amidst the roses lie the thorns 

Might that be what makes Love worthwhile ? 

They say that Love brings pain 

The paradox of Life itself 

It is only when we are in pain that we fully comprehend Joy 

The pain points us to Joy 

And such Joy 

Unspeakable 

If Love were a parody of Life itself

Could we not then equate Love to Life?

And further still

That Love is the very essence of Life

Without which we could do nothing, have nothing, even Be nothing? 

Perhaps then they are synonymous after all 

Love being Life and 

Life being Love 

Shining eyes

What makes your eyes shine? 

What sets them aflame ? 

What causes those twin jewels to sparkle? 

Lighting up your life

Showering radiance on the world around you. 

Summer days 

Easy, breezy they say 

Languishing carelessly on the grass 

Picnic baskets strewn 

Sticky sweet fingers 

Hair blown asunder 

Clothes in disarray 

Doesn't really matter 

Your eyes shine 

Autumn glows 

Blazing glorious colors

Reds, Yellows, golds 

Tramping through forests 

Hands clasped together 

Nose twitching in anticipation

Of spicy smells 

Awaiting ecstasy of more golden moments 

A shine in your eyes 

Rain 

refreshing, cooling 

Chilling, freezing, drenching

Outlines of bodies huddling together under shelters 

Clothes sticking to skin 

Sending sweet shivers rushing 

Scalding tea burning 

Steam rising from roadsides as traffic stops 

Mingling sounds of people chattering and horns beeping 

Running through puddles

Knee- deep, waist high

Children sailing paper-made boats 

Laughing at the water streaming down their faces 

Laughing at the adults squinting in the rain 

Clapping, Splashing 

Childhood innocence 

Leaving shining eyes. 

Random Love

To wake with your name on my lips and inscribed on my heart

To fall asleep night after night dreaming 

Of two bright stars 

Always together

Never apart 

Dreaming 

Of a world in which there are no good-byes 

A world that celebrates Love and where there is no pain 

No harsh words, 

Only lingering sighs of happiness and tears of joy 

To lie in the safe shelter of your arms 

And see our reflections in each others eyes 

mirrors reflecting each other's souls. 

Where each of our breaths merge into One 

And mist the glass of our hearts 

Fragile glass 

Fragile hearts 

Glass hearts that burn and melt in the heat of loves passion

Molten power that surges like a tide 

Yet cools at the coolness of night 

Filled with the fragrance of Love replete 

An ode to punctuation.

To tell you the truth I was a little torn on how I could title this blog. After all labels make a difference right? I remember writing composition and essays in school based on pre-chosen topics. Not all of them were to my liking; but then again neither was the whole experience of being in school. The only reason kids really 'like' (no this is not the Facebook 'like') is for almost all other reasons except for the very seemingly obvious reason- to study. But I digress- which was in fact one of my challenges in writing an essay- I invariably digressed. 

So back to labels and how I could have titled this blog: Periods, commas, and exclamations? Or "the mark of a punctuation?" Maybe it doesn't really matter as long as my message gets through. What message you might ask? 

I'm glad you asked. I want to answer this by sharing with you one of my recent tutoring experiences. I was tutoring a young girl and doing my best to drill into her the fundamentals of the English Language. A fairly daunting task actually because the English language contains almost as many exceptions to the rule as there are rules. One of the areas we covered was that of punctuation marks; when we use a comma, or why we need to use a semi-colon, and so on. 

As always being the overly contemplative person that I am, I tried to extend this metaphor of 'punctuation marks' to life, and to the situations we face everyday. If we had to describe a certain situation, or even a person that we found challenging- what kind of punctuation mark would we use? A comma? A full-stop? An exclamation mark? Or a hyphen? To me a comma represents a pause, like taking a breather. We encounter a situation that we find trying and sometimes we need to insert a comma somewhere in the midst of it. To pause and just breathe. A full-stop could mean that we're done with one phase of life and we're ready to move on into another. An exclamation mark shouts success! at accomplishing something that we may not have thought possible before. And perhaps a hyphen means we're undergoing transition. 

These are all just my opinions of course. To someone else the very same punctuation marks could very well mean something entirely different and opposite even. Honestly it doesn't matter. What does matter is how we choose to punctuate our life everyday; with question marks or exclamation marks? We decide how we write and punctuate the composition of our life. 

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther 

Why wearing a mask can good.

It's that time of the year again. No, I don't mean Christmas or Ramzaan or any other major festival. As much as I'd like to though. It's that time of the year when Indonesia starts to burn its trees and other vegetation. And with the help of the wind the smoke spreads to some of its neighboring countries- like Singapore. I can't speak for other countries since I currently reside here, although I've heard on the grapevine that our neighbor Malaysia is in similar straits ( no pun intended). 

Fear not, I'm not about to launch into a tirade against what Indonesia deems regular practice. Besides I doubt I can best others who've already made their feelings known. Understandably, it's not an ideal situation. And personally I'm not into the ninja look- the only reason why I would don a mask is purely for self protection and self- preservation. By mask I mean a simple surgical affair, not the kind one would wear to a masquerade party. Although that would be kind of fun. 

So what good can come out of a situation like this? Especially in a country where up to 80 or even 90% of the population spends its time out of the house. The way I see it this could be a time of nurturing relationships. Since most of us are forced to be indoors, why not spend that much needed quality time with the people who matter the most to us? With those whom we love. Who knows, it could be a time of healing. Also it's been known to happen that in times of crises a country bands together. There seems to be a visible common focus, or enemy which must be prevailed against at all costs. It's heartening to see and feel; what would be even more heartening would be if this were the norm. 

On an aside, have you ever seen someone smile with their eyes? I passed by a young lady whose lower face from the nose down was covered in a mask. Even though I couldn't see her smile I knew she did. Perhaps it's because her eyes slightly crinkled at the corners, and there was a little shine in her pupils. It brought to mind the phrase most of us have heard at one time or another,"..the eyes are the windows to the soul." A smile doesn't just happen when we push our lips apart, it's a full- face drama. The eyes, the ears, the nose, the forehead, the cheeks, and of course the mouth all have a role to play. But it is beautiful when just the eyes express everything that needs to be said. 

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther 

Wherever you are be there.

How many of us have wandered through our day not noticing what is going on around us? I am certainly guilty of it- although I am training myself to stop what I am doing and be present wherever I am. I see so many in the little red dot- also known as Singapore- where I currently live guilty of this too. Blame it on technology, work, the hectic pace of life, whatever. If we choose there are an endless number of excuses. 

Excuses for what? For not being present in the moment. Present. The dictionary may give us at least two definitions: a gift that we give, and being aware of where we are. I'm referring to the second definition- being aware of where we are at each moment. We could combine the two meanings in the words of Joan River who said,  "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present." 

A play on words perhaps, yet with so much truth. 

For me the word 'present' brings back images of my childhood in school. Every morning in school, my teacher used to take attendance for my class and whose ever name was called, either raised his/her hand or yelled out 'present!'. What do we require to be really present? 

We could start with our five senses. Be present requires us to smell, see, feel, hear, and touch. At least in most situations. We could also be present mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It does mean that we need to pay attention to what goes on around us. To not walk down a street with our mind still remembering the events of yesterday, or daydreaming about what might happen tomorrow. (Please do not try this if you live outside of Singapore- Singapore is one of the few countries that I know of in Asia where one can walk down a road looking at one's phone! In most other countries this is extremely dangerous). The quarrel we had yesterday. The wonderful lunch we just had. What we're going to have for dinner. Where we're going for our summer or winter vacations. Not that all these events are unimportant: but there is a time and place for everything. 

There's a time and place to reflect on our past, and a time and place to envision our future. Not at the expense of being present when we need to. When people who care about us need us to be present. It's for this very reason that people who are counselors,  therapists, or psychologists are paid well. Or should be. Because they are giving their most valuable resource- time and undivided attention- to those who need it. 

The next time you have a conversation with anyone, focus on listening and being present.  Who knows, you may learn something that might change your life. 

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther

The Power Of a Name

What is the one thing that is given to each of us, that we did not choose for ourselves, and yet it is the most precious to us?  Try this: walk into any crowded restaurant, bar, meeting room and call out a name. If there is someone with the name that you called- they will look up. If you want to get a person'a undivided attention, use their name when you talk to them. Making the effort to remember someone's name will take you far in making new friendships. 

Our name. How is it that such a simple thing as a name can have so much power ? Is it because as humans we crave for identity? Something that makes us unique? Something that belongs to us and no one else. Of course depending on culture and ethnic identity, because in some cultures people do share the same name. Even then I think having your own name gives us our own sense of belonging. It's personal. 

It's another paradox of life though- how something that defines us has been chosen for us. For most of us our names have been chosen for us by our parents. Why our parents choose particular names for us is not within our control. It could be for religious reasons, it could be cultural, or it could be just out of convenience. I've heard of some people who were named after famous movie or TV personalities.  And in some rural cultures babies are not names until the parents are sure that the child will live to be at least one year of age. 

I've always had this habit of asking people what their names mean. Especially if I encounter an unusual one. Maybe it's because my parents have always told me why they named me what they did. Esther was a young girl who was chosen out of thousands of others to become a queen. She was chosen not just for her beauty but for her spirit. At the end of the story (found in the Bible) she saves her people by courageously going to the King and asking for their freedom. At that time if someone went to the King unannounced his life could be forfeit- and this meant anyone. Even the Queen herself. And the name 'Esther' means star in the Hebrew language. 

I think names carry hope. Parents hope that when they give their child a certain name, that child will grow up to emulate the qualities of that name. If you're not sure about what your name means- take a little time and ask your parents. Or do some research. It may even change your life. 

And if you're having trouble remembering someone's name- try this: 

www.soakupinfo.com/Esther 

Spirituality and Sensuality in Indian clothing

It's been said that an Indian woman is the epitomy of what womanhood; charm, beauty elegance and much more. Being an Indian woman myself I'd have to agree! Part of this charm I believe lies in her clothing; the other part is something I feel every woman innately possesses.

Both women and men the world over are familiar with Indian clothing. It's evolved over the centuries and has achieved a fashion standard of its own. It has been looked upon by many a fashion designer for inspiration even. However no matter how much it's been modernized it still retains its traditional roots.

When we look at the sari, it's now available in a myriad of colors, fabrics and styles. Many Indian women in cities now only wear the sari for weddings, parties or special functions. Yet it's a paradox because when we look at the way a sari is draped around a woman's body, it is not only sensual but also very practical. In fact I'm sure women who wear it in Indian villages certainly do not have sensuality in mind! For these ladies it's a way of life, just like modern Indian ladies now wear jeans, skirts and dresses.

It's light and airy enough to withstand tropical Indian summers in which temperatures can soar up to 45-50 degrees Celsius. It's modest enough to cover the whole body without showing skin. The part of the sari that falls over the shoulder is especially useful - for wiping water or sweat, for wiping a child's runny nose, for wrapping around oneself for warmth, or for covering the head when entering a religious place. And I'm sure most men would agree- it can be enticing when worn well.

India truly is a land of opposites - in which both tradition and non- traditions have their place. How a simple, long piece of cloth can be draped such that it embodies a sense of practicality and sensuality- at the same time.

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther
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The world is with you, not against you.

Have you ever seen this happen? You line up quietly outside the glass doors of a subway (no, not the franchise Subway) waiting for the train to arrive. I say quietly because this is little Singapore; where most people are perhaps so tired after a whole day at work that they have no energy to either smile or chat with the person next to them. Some of course, would rather be entertained by their electronic device. Live , and let live. Of course there are strange people like me who look around, and smile at unsuspecting fellow commuters.

Anyway the train arrives, people walk in and those able to find a seat, do. The beeping starts, warning commuters that the trains doors are about to close. Suddenly someone comes rushing through just as the doors start to close. The expression on the person who just made it through the doors is one of relief of course- that he or she did not get jammed between the doors! Perhaps theres a little pride mixed in at their athletic ability.

I was was watching one such person. Actually it was not the person who had just made it that I was watching; I was watching the rest of the people in the compartment. Maybe it was just me, but it seemed as if everyone was holding their breath. Most conversation had ceased around that particular entrance. Once again it could have just been me, but I was hoping that somehow the person would make it.

I'd like to think that I'm not too different from other human beings in wanting to see someone succeed. I think there is a desire in each one of us- unless we're either clinically depressed or in a comatose state- that we want to see someone make it. To reach their goal. To reach the pinnacle of their career. To be all that they can be. It doesn't matter who the person is- all that binds us to one another is a common bond of empathy and understanding. And most of the time, that is more than enough, to show that we care.

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther

The elusiveness of happiness

Is happiness something really worth pursuing? And how does one go about defining happiness anyway? I sincerely doubt that we would be able find a more abstract noun. What is the difference; or is there even a difference between general happiness of the world at large, and that of personal happiness? Or does one lead to the other?

So many questions and so few answers! It's been said that one of the marks of a successful person is his or her ability to ask the right questions, addressed to the right or relevant authority on that subject. So who could we ask that we would deem to be an authority on the subject of happiness?

The answer, i believe lies in our childhood. The time when we were babies and had not a care in the world, except that of seeking out our next meal, and nap time. Babies and toddlers have no conception of fear- they depend on the parent or a significant other to be with them constantly. To monitor them, and of course for survival basics. They truly exist in the now- something which many of us strive to do and few actually do. Perhaps that's what happiness is.

Learning how to live in the now- to make the most of our present moment. To really be present where we are- with all of our faculties. And not just to be present, but to enjoy and make the most of each moment. To learn from the tougher moments, and to move from moment to moment with lightness in our hearts. Maybe love and happiness are synonymous; or at least exist side by side.

Yes I think happiness should be pursued- it may bring greater self-awareness and love for both our self and for others. It may even bring us to Maslow's point of self-actualization. If you're not happy, take some time for self-reflection and find out why. When you seek with all your heart, you will find.

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther

Is love as risky as its made out to be?

One of my essay topics when I was in high school was the question," Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?" For those of us who may be wondering where this oft-quoted phrase originated from, it was stolen from Lord Temnyson's poem, 'In Memoriam:27, 1850. I

"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

I haven't had the good fortune of meeting Lord Temnyson, so I can't give you the exact reasons behind his writing such wonderfully sorrowful and yet pleasurable words words as the ones above. What we can tell is that perhaps he did once love someone so much that even when that person passed from his life- either through death or other means- he never regretted it. For those of us who may have had a similar experience, I'm sure we can agree with this heartfelt expression. I honestly can't say I've had a similar experience; I only pray that the person I love will also feel the same, and that I may never have to express Lord Tennyson's sentiment!

I think it's safe to say that we can extend this statement to more than just romantic love; it could also be the love of a parent for a child, or the love of a family member. It's strange how when we read of statements expressing love, our mind seems to assume romantic love. Or it could just be my foolish, sentimental mind!

I honestly can't remember what I wrote in my essay; the only thing I remember was that I for some inexplicable reason chose this question among others. I'm sure at that tender age my only real experience with love would have been that of parental love, or 'puppy' love, with the latest crush. It's amusing to think of it in hindsight. And why is hindsight always perfect? It's almost unfair! If only hindsight and foresight could trade places, the world would be a far nicer place!

Just out of curiosity, what do you, my reader feel? Is it better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther

What is truth?

I remember playing word association games during the course of my study in psychology. In fact I still play them every now and then! For some inexplicable reason the word 'truth' has been popping up in my head. What ideas, thoughts, or associations come to your mind when you think of the word 'truth'?

I can only speak for myself of course. There are two ideas that come to my mind; one is the word trust, and the other is the story of Pontius Pilate in the Bible. Also the phrase that many of us hear and sometimes even quote."the truth shall set you free".

Looking back in history the word 'truth' is taken from an Old English word 'treowth' which meant faithful. If we like, we can further trace back this word to the word 'faith' itself. Which would mean that truth and faith are synonymous. I'll leave you to make your own conclusions though. On my part I think trust comes to mind because of the simple logic that we can only trust someone who tells us the truth. Which raises a secondary question of how do we know when someone is telling us the truth? After all Hollywood, Bollywood and so many other successful movie industries base their paycheck on people who act- or to put it another way- people who portray non-truths and who do it so convincingly that we pay them for it! Of course I'm putting this very simplistically, since I'll be the first to admit that I like a good movie!

However this is a day and age when trust has become a highly priced commodity- it goes to the highest paying bidder. Or to the person who can market it in the most appealing way. How do we know whom and what to believe? I like the idea that many eastern and even some western religions propose; that truth can only be found by searching within ourselves. We each of us needs to find a truth inside us that we can hold onto- while the world around us is shifting and changing. It could be faith in an unseen source, it could be faith in ourselves and our strengths- it doesn't matter as long as it is something that we can hold onto- our anchor.

The story of Pontius Pilate is the story of a man searching for truth or 'the' truth. Be was faced with the decision of punishing Jesus, and he was caught between the guilt of punishing an innocent man, or just going with the crowd and doing whatever they suggested. A dilemma many of us face- especially those of us who choose to step out of our respective comfort zones. He asked the now famous question." What is truth?" He made his decision on his own idea of truth.

Which is what each of us must also do, or are already doing. Truth to one person may not be the same as truth to the person beside him/her. What does matter is how intensely we believe in what we choose to believe and hold on to.

Esther @ www.soakupinfo.com/Esther

What do trees and our memory have in common?

What do trees represent to you? For most, and certainly for me trees represent growth, expansion, life, networking, productivity, relationships, and last but certainly not least- consistency. If you ask a child to draw a tree, they would perhaps draw a picture of a tree trunk with leaves coming out from the top. Some children, perhaps the older ones may draw roots growing into the ground. Or some such similar representation.

What strikes me the most is that the tree is such a universal symbol of life and growth. I'm sure every language on earth has a word that conveys the image of a tree. It may not be the same image that each of us has in our mind, but I'm sure it would be similar. In some cultures and religions trees are even worshipped as they are believed to house tree spirits. In Christianity and Judaism, there is the story of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Trees represent the cycle of life- from birth to growth to decay, and hen to resurrection.

So what do trees have to do with memory, and more pertinently, increasing your memory? Trees represent networks, and our mind works by way of association. So for example if we want to remember a certain idea, we can break it down into smaller ideas and sub-ideas that are related to the main idea. We can create a mental tree that links related ideas together. We can add in images and pictures to those ideas to remember them better. Our mind can easily trace the visual pathway, and connect ideas together for either present or future use.

The relationship between our understanding of an idea and the idea itself is very important. When I mentioned the word 'tree' what was the first thought that popped into your head ? Just as the more time we spend with a certain person or people, the stronger our relationship with that person or those people becomes. The stronger our relationship to a certain idea, the more likely we will be to remember that idea. How we link ideas is specific to our background and the way we view the world at large. No two people think the same way, not even twins!

A tree is a powerful image, and when used wisely can be a great tool to further not just our memory, but also our imagination.

p.s Please also click on:
www.soakupinfo.com/Esther
To learn how to further improve your memory!

What are you selling?

Selling. For most the word conjures up images of salesmen trying to force you to buy something you really don't want or need. Not too long ago I too would have put myself in the category of people who either didn't like selling or considered themselves incapable of selling. I would have much preferred to spell a word than sell a word!

Seriously though, why does the very word strike fear into the hearts of so many, and sheer joy into the hearts of a blessed few? Why are so many terrorized by thoughts of having to sell something?

Especially when the irony is that EVERYONE is selling something, it's just that a minority are actually getting paid for it! What do people sell? Everything! From politics to religion to friendship to love to sex- you name it and its already been sold!

The funnier truth is that many of us would rather sell for free than get paid for doing it. Think about the last time you told someone to try a new restaurant, a new boutique, a new hardware appliance? It doesn't really matter what the product is, the only thing that matters is that we liked it, we were greatly benefitted by it- enough to tell someone else about it.

And that's really at the heart of true selling. It's purpose is not to put a hole in your pocket or a tear in your purse lining for a nonsense product. True salespeople sense a need in their customers and seek to provide a solution. The master salespeople create a need where there may not have been one before. And really it isn't as hard as it seems. And yes it can be learned if one is willing.

Remember the last time you told a friend to try a new café? What motivated you to do that? And then imagine how you felt when your friend did try it and liked it as much as you did? How did you feel? Happy? Satisfied? And what if your friend didn't like it? Did it stop you from sharing your information with other friends? Most likely not.

The truth is we all sell, regardless of the product, regardless of whether we get paid for it or not. The danger is when we become greedy, or when we sell something that we ourselves don't value or don't believe in. But make no mistake-
we all sell. The only question remaining is- what are you selling today?



p.s. Yes I'm selling too!
p.p.s Please click on www.soakupinfo.com/Esther to find out more.

Why following your passion is vital for optimum health.

Many years ago (I'm so tempted to say just a few years ago!), when I was just a wee lass studying in school, I was asked an interesting question by my literature teacher. Not just me of course, but my whole class. And yes I am still a wee lass, not too much has changed in the height department, however much has changed in almost all other departments!

Back to the question; we were asked what the difference was between the three words- surviving, existing, and living? It seemed just a case of semantics, perhaps each word could be use in different contexts. As I was explaining to one of my students the other day; we can derive the meaning of a word when we consider its context. Otherwise we would have to spend most of our waking hours learning new words! At that time I was just focused on analyzing the words for the purpose of the lesson. Not as a metaphor for life itself.

The fact that I still remember that question and the three words shows that I'm now looking at new contexts in which to explore the words. Are we just existing? Plodding along from day to day without a real reason or purpose for living? Or are we just surviving? Barely making it through from day to day? And this does not just imply financially; it could mean physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and in every area of our lives. Or are we really and truly living? Discovering and living out our purpose for being on his planet? I'm sure none of us believes we were accidents; even if we may profess and behave like it sometimes.

It may take some to discover what it is we are passionate about. Like myself for example. if you had asked me even as late as last year what my passion was, I would not have been able to answer. And honestly I was embarrassed. I just knew that from a very young age I wanted to help people. The only thing that remained was how. Now I would be able to tell you that I love writing, reading, meeting people from different cultures.

So its ok to take a little longer, because as long as we keep discovering what we are passionate about, we find out who we really are too. When we keep searching, we will find what we're looking for. The journey inwards can be one of the hardest ones to make, and yet the most rewarding. And when we find ourselves that's when we really, and truly start to live.

We always have a choice.

Have you ever been asked the oft- repeated question," Is the glass half-full or half-empty? If you're an optimistic person like myself you might say the glass is half-full; and of course if you have a generally negative view of the world at large you may think the glass is half-empty. Of course now there are people who aim to by-pass that question and look at the same scenario in an overly philosophical manner; asking the question , "Why must there be a glass at all?" Or, "Is the glass made of glass or some other non-descript material?"

That's beside the point. We all know what the question is really asking of us; at the very depth of our personality are we optimists or pessimists? How do we view our current circumstances? Do we have an attitude of being thankful or do we complain and whine constantly?

Just two days ago, I finally updated my IPhone software. I was using an outdated model and every time there was a slight problem I used to get asked if I had updated my software. I did not realize what a difference it made. The phone moved faster. The only analogy I can use to compare this to is like a child trying to solve a 3rd grade Maths sum at kindergarten, and then solving the same sum with much greater ease on reaching the 3rd grade and having acquired the right skills.

I was happy with the upgrade, the only challenge was that most of the applications I was using before the upgrade had disappeared! I was a little overwhelmed at first thinking that I would have to go through the tedious process of downloading the apps all over again. Then it dawned on me that now I would get to download completely new apps, and only ones that I would actually use. There were two ways of looking at the same situation; either spend my time, effort and energy being depressed about having to re-download a new set of apps, or spend that same time, effort and energy at discovering new apps. It was my choice.

This may seem like a small and irrelevant example; however the choice is always ours. Only we can decide whether to be happy or sad. We can choose to react or respond to situations. We can choose to love or hate. We can choose to blame or take the blame. We can choose to be a leader or a follower. The choice is ours. We will reap what we sow.

Why ignoring your gut feeling can be dangerous.

Many of us are often told to follow our heart. To go with the flow. Somehow our heart seems to know what's good for us. Logically that doesn't make sense. Those who are in love would understand this. A woman may meet a man who somehow doesn't quite fit her 'list'. It could just be her first meeting and somehow she feels 'butterflies' in her stomach. Butterflies in the stomach? Obviously not literally! She may also go on a date with a man who completely 'fits' her list of criteria but who doesn't give her the 'butterflies in the stomach' effect. (not to be confused with the butterfly effect!) So who should she choose? On what should she base her decision?

I was musing over this idea recently after a certain incident that happened to me in India. I was rushing to the domestic terminal in Delhi to take a flight to Hyderabad. Rushing because I had woken up slightly late! My cousin dropped me off at what we had been told was the correct terminal. As I was heading to go in the building the guard at the door told me I was at the wrong terminal. He gave me some instructions on how to get to my terminal, which after thinking through I ignored because it would have taken too long. Instead I called my cousin who thankfully wasn't too far away. He returned and took me back to my terminal which I realized wasn't quite as near as I had thought.

Then as I was going in, the guard at the main door stopped me because i didn't have a print-out of my ticket. I tried uselessly arguing with him in my broken Hindi, and then a passenger behind me told me I could get a print out at the office just a few doors down. So I ran there and got my print out, ignoring the comment of the guy who was printing it out. He told me not to bother since I was going to miss my flight anyway. I had to bite my tongue on the very impolite remark I felt like hurling at him! I rushed back and headed to my counter and pleaded with the staff to let me on the flight, which after much reluctance they did. I was almost near the gate leading directly to the plane when I realized they hadn't returned my passport. I had this feeling that I was missing something as I hurried away from the check-in counter. It's a good thing I listened to that feeling, otherwise I could have left my passport behind which would have caused a lot of complications!

We all have this 'gut feeling'; like some kind of internal instinct. It's like our mind and our body somehow know what we need to do in every situation. Its inexplicable and it certainly doesn't follow the 'wisdom' of the majority. Just like how our stomach growls when we're hungry. All we need to do is listen to those feelings and simply trust. And follow.

The power of a hug.

Sometimes the hardest words to say are the words 'good-bye'. It would be great to have a language in which we would never have to say good-bye. We would never part from the people we love. My cousin told me that in French they have a entire dedicated to expressing love. Perhaps thats why Frenchmen are reputed to be very romantic!

With the spread of the Internet and social media tools like Skype, Facebook, Twittter, etc we're all quite connected. We can do almost everything except touch each other. There's nothing that can replace the feeling of touch though. No matter how much we may talk on the phone, or send messages through various media, we really cannot replace the sensation of touching the person or persons that we love. There's no substitute.

How do we put in words what we feel when someone we care about hugs us? Hugging and kissing friends and relatives is an integral part of many cultures. Perhaps they understand how crucial it is to have human contact, in fact we could go so far as to say has survival value.

In psychology we learn about attachment theories; how children who have had a secure level of attachment with their primary caregiver-usually the mother- go on to lead balanced lives. And of course the children who have not had a secure level of attachment can go on to lead dysfunctional lives. There are exceptions in both cases however there is a noticeable pattern. And of course everyone knows Maslow's hierarchy of needs, starting with the physical to the emotional, and finally if all these needs are met- leading on to self-actualization. A very much desired state of being.

Not everyone is used to hugging their friends and relatives, but honestly it doesn't hurt to start. Who knows? It may even change your life!

It's the little things that make a big difference.

While I was browsing through a bookstore in downtown Hyderabad, I came across quite a few great books- both non-fiction and fiction. I could literally spend hours in a bookstore; it's equivalent to a candy store for a kid. So being in a bookstore is really an exercise in discipline. Even as a kid I used to love going to libraries; i would sit with a book in the kids section and just be completely immersed in the story. I think mentally I was in another world, not that I had anything to escape from in reality.

I was browsing through a few books, then I climbed a narrow little staircase to the second floor where they had textbooks and children's literature. One of the men who worked in the stores was very helpful and he took any book I wanted to take a look at out of it's plastic cover. There were quite a few books he had to dust off; for which I was grateful. I kept glancing at my hands every now and then because they were getting blacker and blacker with every book I touched. And I think he noticed. I bought a book and an educational game for my nephew and niece and headed downstairs to pay and leave.

They were kind enough to offer free gift-wrapping for the game, which I happily accepted. What child or adult doesn't like a gift-wrapped present? Even if only for the joy of tearing it open! While I was waiting for my item to be gift-wrapped, the man who was helping me upstairs came down with a water bottle and asked if I wanted to wash my hands. I was a little surprised actually- I didn't know how to respond for a moment. I've never had this service offered by a bookstore before! He was very nice and just outside the shop he poured water over my hands so I could clean the dirt off.

It may seem like such a small and minute thing to remember, but this really stayed with me. After all he really didn't need to do it; which can only mean that he made a choice to do it. Perhaps I'm one of the lucky few to have an experience like this. Or perhaps he does this for everyone. It really doesn't matter. He exercised simple common sense and decency.

Taking time for details in the present may save us a lot of time in the future. For example taking part in simple acts of kindness. We never know how a smile or a kind word can lift another's mood. It could be something seemingly insignificant in our eyes, but in the other person's eyes we become their hero, or heroine. Which is not a bad place to be; regardless of the responsibilities attached. So take time to be kind, to pursue your hobby or passion, and you may find that you are a much better person.

As He is so are we in this world.

Sitting in the Rock auditorium in Suntec City in Singapore, listening to Pastor Joseph Prince; one line kept running through my head, "As He is so are we in this world". The 'He' in this case referred to Jesus whom Christians believe to be the Son of God who came to this earth to die for the sins of mankind. They also believe He is God who came in the form of man so that he could understand the suffering of man, without committing any sin Himself.

Fear not, I don't plan on making this a theological discourse! I have neither enough knowledge nor desire to delve into those areas. I'd much rather leave it to the experts. Coming back to what I was saying earlier, if we think about this sentence from a purely literary point of view, it would mean that we are also like Gods on this earth since we carry His image. So whatever God is like, then we are too. So if He is a God of love, then so should we be too. If He is a God of holiness, then so are we and so should we be too. And if he is a God of abundance then so are we too. Whatever His divine attributes are, we have them too.

Which is good news; that each of us has it in us to be Godlike. if we're not living in accordance with our inner Godliness then we obviously need to make a change. We can be more loving, we can be more peaceful, and we can live more fully and abundantly. It's assumed that we already have these latent Godliness in us, all we need to do now is express it. Especially if we want to make a difference those around us.

Challenging? Yes. Worth it? Yes.

New Resolutions Don't work!

No it's not too late to write about New Year Resolutions; after all who decides when the new year starts to get old? Is there a specific day we can pinpoint- say the middle of January, or the end of January, or even the middle of the year when we start to feel the New year getting old?

Today is the 21st of January, give or take a day depending on which time zone you're in. We're already past the middle of the first month of the year. How many of us have kept to those 'new year resolutions' that we so joyously started the year with? Perhaps some of us wanted to lose weight, learn a new language, pick up a new hobby, start a new business. It doesn't matter, we all started out with the best of intentions. What happened along the way? For those who have kept to their resolutions, congratulations! For the rest of us who haven't, there is always hope.

Why do we set New Year resolutions? Do we all have this secret desire within us to transform our lives? I think there's a part of each one of us that seeks to be better. To be a better person. To live a better life- one more in keeping with our dreams. So why do we fail to keep these resolutions that we were so determined about at the start of the year? Perhaps one reason is that many of us don't really know what we want; we crave everything that we think will make us a better person. Also we could be setting unrealistic resolutions that are not in keeping with our desires. For example, Iearning how to dance. We may want to learn it because we might have seen a beautiful example of it. However the want needs to be strong enough to keep the action going.

The motivation for wanting to do anything must also be equal to the action taken. Otherwise we may not even start what we write down on our 'resolution' list! I'm beginning to feel the word 'resolution' take a slightly more negative connotation; in fact some people set resolutions with the mindset that it may never happen. They've already decided that since setting resolutions hasn't worked for then in the past, it probably won't work even these year. Yet they're hoping for a positive outcome.

Maybe we shouldn't even bother with setting these resolutions and instead set goals- long, short and mid-term. This way we can closely monitor our goals and work on them everyday, rather than setting resolutions with a 'half-mind' knowing that they may never come to pass. On the contrary when we set goals and break them down into everyday tasks, they become far easier to reach. And the sense of accomplishment when we've achieved even one goal is priceless. So turn those resolutions into goals with a daily action plan and watch miracles happen!

Shot glasses of tea.

When you walk into most small eateries and restaurants in India, and ask for tea they give you these little cups of strong sweetened tea. It's really like drinking a tiny shot of highly flavoured tea.

Very refreshing and it gives one a small 'kick' much like alcohol can and does. For those of us who are sugar averse it can taste like caramelized syrup. For the most part though it awakens the senses and jolts the brain into functioning, which is great especially in the lazy hours after lunch. This tea is served to most shops, with delivery boys running around serving piping hot tea in little plastic cups which burn the lips and sear the tongue when tasting. Its even hard to hold with the fingers! It's all part of the experience.

When I was in Italy I remember going into a coffee shop and asking for coffee or café as they called it. It was not quite what I expected- I was expecting a normal black coffee in which one could add sugar and milk as desired. What I got was a tiny espresso shot, very black and very strong. A shot of coffee. I saw a few people order the same; they would wait at the counter and as soon as they received their coffee they would quickly sip it (there were only about 3 or 4 sips per cup) and then be on their way. it was such a routine activity and yet very much an integral part of their day.

Culture is unique. Every country has it's own culture, and then there are subcultures within those cultures. No wonder a study of culture is so fascinating; it's amazing to see how humans live in different parts of the world and yet despite completely diverse cultures somehow there is a similarity of thinking between people. We're really not all that different from each other: we all live, love, and die. Just that we have different expressions of living; whether we order a shot of tea in India or a shot of coffee in Italy.

Love what you do or do what you love.

Would you rather love what you're currently doing? Or would you rather do what you love doing? Is there a difference? Or just semantically different? Recently I was browsing through a book, "Success Built to Last"; just through the introduction and the first chapter. The book is a compilation of the stories of leaders who have made lasting changes in the live of others.

Two words kind of jumped off the page for me- meaning and passion. Three words actually, the third one being action. Most of the leaders who were interviewed for the book were people who believed that their life had meaning and there was a higher purpose to the existence. They sought and found answers to the very fundamental question, "Who am I?" and also the next relevant question. "What am I doing here?"

Two very basic questions and yet questions that I'm sure many people can't answer. Or perhaps questions that people would rather not even have to confront. Questions that I too until not too long ago was not able to specifically answer myself. But obviously these questions are the very crux of our existence here on Earth. If we believe that nothing happens by accident and that everything happens for a reason, then it logically follows that our being here on this planet is also for a reason.

Its up to us to find out what that reason is. Finding out what we're passionate about is part of our purpose. How do we know what we're passionate about? A simple question we could ask ourselves could be. "what is the one thing that in doing brings us great happiness and satisfaction, and when we're involved in this activity do we lose all sense of time?" As in does this activity consume us until we forget our surroundings and people around us?

A friend I met very recently put this idea of pursuing our passion in a slightly different light. We were having dinner at the very lovely Taj Krishna- one of my favorite hotels in Hyderabad. They have wonderful service, the staff are very warm. Anyway I asked my friend what his passion was and whether he was following his passion. His answered that we can bring love and passion into anything that we do, no matter how seemingly menial the task. Including housework, or being with a friend who needs our help. Or our jobs. Especially when it comes jobs that we're doing but not liking.

So what's the solution? Either find something that you love to do, or bring love into what you're doing. A perfect example was our chef who came out to chat with us, and then sent us two complimentary dishes. He definitely seemed to love what his work. and we were the lucky beneficiaries of his creativity!

An Ode to Indian Women

Perhaps I should re-title this post as an 'Ode to Women' and not just Indian women. Being in Hyderabad the past 2 to 3 weeks, observing life around me and especially that of women, sometimes leaves me shaking my head in amazement.

How do these women do it? How do they balance home, family, work, dealing with the male gender in general? Some of them wake up early in the morning to cook for their whole family, as well as pack a lunch box. Then if they are working women, they rush off to work. They come back home later and once again cook and generally take care of the household making sure it runs smoothly. Is it wired into their DNA? I'm sure if some of them knew what was awaiting them later in life, they may have chosen to have never left the safety of their mother's womb!

Life in India or perhaps in many developing nations in very challenging. Women have to balance a myriad of roles ranging from wife to career woman. Or in short a superwoman who somehow manages to perform all her tasks with ease and charm, not chipping a nail in the process. Women are expected to bring home the money and make chapatis at the same time. And yes, they are expected to look beautiful and elegant while performing inelegant tasks.

Certain indian women who have complete boors for husbands should be given an award for long-suffering. Men who go off to work and treat their wives like maid- servants. Then of course women have to handle the daily leering glances of men, sometimes even on an hourly basis.

How do they do it? Perhaps it's simply a matter of rising to occasion and seeing what the situation demands. Maybe it's been programmed into their minds when they were growing up. Do they love what they're doing? Perhaps they do, or they grow into loving it. I'm not writing all this to rant and rave at men. I'm writing this so that all of us can show appreciation to the women in our lives: mother, daughter, mother-in-law and others. For all that they do, and for the sacrifices they have made.

Let's procrastinate about procrastinating.

I don't normally do this. No, I'm not talking about procrastinating; that I seem to do on a fairly regular basis. As I'm sure we all do if we're honest enough to admit it. I'm talking about looking up definitions of certain words and then inserting those definitions into a piece I'm writing. It brings slightly unpleasant memories of high-school essays. Slightly only because I've always loved writing; unpleasant because it had to be graded and thereby everything was geared towards earning brownie points with the examiner.

So back to definitions. What is procrastination and why do we do it? For those who have honestly never indulged in procrastinating please forgive me for the assumption. Once again I beg for forgiveness for using the Wikipedia definition; but I liked the way it was phrased,

" ..procrastination refers to the act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of lower priority, or doing something from which one derives enjoyment, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time..."

We humans are creatures of logic at least most of the time- unless superstitions are involved in which case we throw logic and good sense out the window- so it begs the question why do we procrastinate? Why do we put off something that we can do now until later? Why do we wait until the proverbial 'last minute'? Sometimes it's just pure laziness. Or we don't value our time and think we have all the time in the world until calamity strikes and it becomes too late. There are some tasks that perhaps can be postponed but things like our health, finances, and spending time with our loved ones really can't be put off because before we may realize that one seemingly simple act of delaying may turn into a viscious cycle of destruction.

Procrastination is like a poison that slowly eats into each and every part of us and destroys that sense of urgency we need to have. It starts nibbling away at your priorities, then goes on to slowly attack your dreams, your passion and your very purpose for living. The danger of it is that it happens so quietly, and stealthily like a thief.

How do we get rid of it? Make a list of priorities; things that must get done no matter what. And since we like to enjoy ourselves, make some time for play and leisure so you feel like you're not being deprived. And take it step-by-step and enjoy the process. Re-claim your life. You are worth it.

The seaming soft- porn business in India

Why is that that a large percentage of tailors in India are men? It's something I can't get my head around, especially in a land that is so conservative in so many ways. And yet not as conservative as we may think.

The tailoring industry is one that never ceases to amaze me. It's a culture in itself, with a unique worldview. Most obviously, one that's ruled by men. It seems innocent enough- we women go to these men who then take the material and create something lovely with which to drape ourselves. So why do I call it soft porn? First I have to clarify that I'm no expert in 'porn'- either soft, hard, or any other kind! I simply use the word loosely to describe what lies beneath a commonplace task of going to a tailor and getting a dress made.

As soon as a woman walks into a tailoring shop, she is without a doubt assessed from head to foot. Of course if she's attractive, the assessment prolongs a little longer. For a new customer there is the crucial step of taking measurements; which gets the tailor up close and personal with his female customer. And it can be quite personal sometimes- since some of the measurements include taking what is fondly referred to as a woman's 'vital statistics'- or the bust-waist-hip ratio. We could also call it legalized groping, or brief bursts of pleasure, depending on whose eyes we look through.

Then besides the physical involvement, there is also the power of imagination. I as a woman have only a brief idea of what may cross a man's mind when he looks at a woman. Certain men in India sometimes seem to be from another planet; they act as if they've never seen a woman before. Others of course know what women are, yet they have no idea of how to act around women. The educated may also fall into this category. But the tailors are a breed unto themselves, they are not just acquainted with scores of women- they are actually given permission to touch, that too by the woman herself! No need for charm, or quick wit, or the support of alcohol; they can just dive right in and call it their job. It beats any guy trying to approach a woman at a bar!

I can't speak for other countries, not having been to as many. At least not yet. India however is truly a land of paradoxes. It's the land of arranged marriages and the land of the Kamasutra. Amazing.

Let go of your inner beauty!

I really never thought I would ever write anything about food and diet. Food has always been the last item in my list of priorities. It's something I know my body needs to function but I really never paid much attention to what I ate and when and how often I ate.

Then at one point a few years ago, my self image and appearance took centre-stage. I completely bought into the 'skinny is beautiful' hype and I went on a completely illogical path. Instead of appreciating my body as it was made to be, I started to want to lose a lot of weight in a very short time, and in a manner that proved that I didn't really love myself. In short I had one of those eating disorders that unfortunately are what a lot of young girls and women suffer from today.

Eating disorders are a kind of obsession where the mind holds onto warped images of what it thinks reality is. The funny thing is I couldn't even tell that I was losing bucket loads of weight; in fact I probably thought I was fat. My mind was so powerful that it refused to accept any other messages that it thought was contradictory. My story thankfully does have a very happy ending: I got rid of the obsession through the support of wonderful family and friends for which I am extremely grateful, because looking back now I can see that I was really on the brink of a landslide. Had I continued on that dangerous path I probably would not have lived to write this.

I'm not normally in the habit of sharing such personal stories. And the only reason I'm doing so now is to tell women especially that we need to take care of ourselves. I've changed from someone who used to avoid eating, to someone who enjoys eating and trying new tastes. I still don't eat a lot but I eat as nutritiously as possible. I believe I'm perfect just the way I am.

A well-cared for woman, who is confident with a healthy self-image will always be beautiful. A woman who is happy, and who loves herself is very attractive. Perhaps we should stop reading magazines that emphasize on appearance, and instead read books; anything that nurtures our inner self. Inner beauty shines outward.

When God is silent.

Early this morning I was sitting in church and the preacher was sharing the story of a man called Job. The story goes that this man Job was a man of great integrity, honesty, and a pretty sharp businessman too. He was blessed with a large family, lots of land, and lots of cattle; which at that time accounted for great wealth. So by today's standards he could have been a millionaire.

The story takes a twist here; God decides that Job is worthy of being tested. In fact God is sure that Job would never ever curse God! In one day Job loses his family and his great wealth- which would give most people cause to turn away from God. Which is what Job's wife recommended he do. Job however had God's personal stamp of approval, and of course God can't be wrong! He refused to doubt God- truly a man of great faith.

The story goes on, however the thing that struck me is that why do we blame God when things seem to go wrong? This is obviously not a perfect world so why don't we just try to correct our own actions and stop wasting time blaming God? He should be telling us that it's not fair that we blame Him for our own actions! And the actions of our friends, neighbors, and countrymen / women. It's almost funny that we don't see the logic in this. In this imperfect world, everyone suffers especially the good people.

What's the solution? Perhaps that we each do our little part to effect change, and like ripples in the water we can slowly make a difference.

Loving me, Loving you

Yes, I know the word 'love' has been used so much it's almost become a cliche in itself. Everyone has their own version of love; their own idea of what love is to them. The good news is that I'm not here to debate or discuss what love means in all its myriad forms. Because I can't.

What I can do is share what I feel love is. I grew up in church, and I used to keep hearing the word 'love' repeated very often. How God loves us as His children. That love is 'patient and kind, doesn't keep record of wrongs...'. I was also blessed with a family where we were comfortable both verbally and physically expressing love- my parents used to hug and kiss my brother and myself as kids. In fact we still do.

Recently something popped out at me. I recalled hearing something like. "we need to love others as we love ourselves". Being an English teacher, from a grammatical standpoint, this seemed like a conditional statement; we can only love others if we love ourselves. So every time we hurt others we're actually hurting ourselves. It's like looking into a mirror. If we don't respect ourselves how can we respect others? If we don't love ourselves how can we love others? If we don't follow our passion and reach our fullest potential how can we tell others to do it too?
So the next time we into a mirror, lets look deep into our souls and ask ourselves the question." Do I love me?"

When I woke up this morning...

The first thing I heard when I woke up this morning was a young boy calling out to his brother," Bhaiya, chai peelo!". Translated into English this means," brother, drink tea!". Or "brother, come and drink your tea!". I'm no hindi pundit so I won't debate the exact trans-literal definition or even the semantics or sentence structure.

The only reason this incident remained in my memory is because I heard this expression repeated a few times. It would not be an exaggeration to say he repeated the same exclamation 6 or 7 times! I won't say it woke me up because even an alarm right beside my ear wouldn't wake me up! My family members and close friends can attest to this. So I was already slightly awake and in alpha mode when I kept hearing this repeated. The first thought that sprung to my mind was why he needed to keep repeating. After all what's the urgency? It's just a cup of tea!

It got me thinking about the relationship between the two brothers: in fact they may not even be related. Nowadays it's common to call friends or cousins 'brother' or 'sister'. It also got me thinking about different cultural contexts. And it got me thinking about why this particular incident even stayed in my memory: it's been at least a week since this happened. Why do we remember some events and forget other more 'important' events like people's names? What is thing we call 'memory'? Its like those 'Who am I' kind of riddles: what can't be seen or touched, and yet is something we can't do without?